From Rapesy to Olive Oyl
From Rapesy to Olive Oyl
Confessions of a Sailor Man
(The Shocking Truth about Canola Oil)
I yams what I yam and therefore I must tell ya’ all. It began many years yonder when I lefts my goil Olive to start cooking fried chicken for me’s living. Woulnst you know that it became a true surcess but me’s health suffered greatly. And my gorsh, I even stopsd eatinf me spinach and ates only fried chicken.
But here’s me confession: it wasn’t just the chicken but the oil in it that mades me and me customers sick. I was told by my new goil Rapesy Oyl (a very very distance relative to Olive Oyl), that this new Canadian oil (Canola) wuz cheap, healthy and tasted jus’ great deep fried on chicken. So I’s took her advice and me restaurant took off like a sail boat in a hurricin’. I was outranked only by the kerna’ Sanders himself. But ten years after the beginning of me success, I started to develop mucula lutea degeneration in me’s eyes, and me’s lungs started develop emphsemia. Not only that but I’s became very unhappy and irricatable. I could no longer sail as the sea ar’ hurt me’s lungs. My friends left me, even me best friend Wimpy. Life for a land bound sailor seemed nots wort’ living. So I’s tied an anchor around me waist, took one last smoke from me trusty pipe then…. I heardst a voik’ cry--- wait-wait! Don’t jump!
It was mes old enemy Brutus who saved me life. He apologized for all ares fights and told me he knew how to fix mes health. Brutus married Olive’s sister, Sesame Oyl and hes bcome quite a feller. Hes goes to church twik’ per week and manys a people looks a up to him. He owns an oiler company hes calls Beautiful Oyls or B.O. for short. Brutus has becomes quite an erducated fellor, but his Engwish sounds kinder strange. This is what hes told me about mes goil Rapesy and mes oil that I used, Canola.
Brutus:
Rapesy was a Canadian Oyl who was instrumental in promoting the new super oil, Canola Oil. But Rapsey and the Big Industry she worked for withheld the shocking truth about Canola Oil (from “Canadian Oil” because it was developed and genetically engineered in Canada). The name Canola is just a glittery masquerade to the evil that lurks inside. Canola oil comes from the rapeseed in the mustard family of plants. It is actually a weed and the most toxic of all food/oil plants; not even insects will touch it. It is used as a lubricant, fuel, soap, synthetic rubber base and glossy coating on magazine pages. IT IS AN INDUSTRIAL OIL THAT HAS NO BUSINESS IN OUR BODIES! But here is the clincher-It is the source of mustard gas used in WWII that ate out the insides of the enemies lungs. It has been known to cause blindness, macula lutea degeneration, emphysema, respiratory distress, anemia, constipation, and irritability (but its dangerous effects can take up to 10 years to manifest). It should truly be called rape-seed oil because it will slowly rape the seed of your health. Whenever you see Canola, replace it with RAPE-seed, because that is its true nature.
Rapeseed contains three classes of toxic compounds: Hemoglutins, isothiocynanates, and glycosides . Briefy the hemoglutins cause red blood cells to stick together which affects the eyes first and foremost, and to people that are susceptible it may even cause blindness. The isothiocyanides are cyanide-like compounds that paralyze the nervous system and make for an excellent insect poison (these compounds go straight to the insects nervous system and shut it down and to a lesser degree do the same in humans). Finally the glycosides in canola suppress the immune system which is the source of our defense. With a weakened immune system, ill health can take on many forms including HIV, lupus, cancer, etc., etc. It should be noted that soy oil also contains these compounds but to a much lesser extent than Canola. So A-SOY-MATE my one-eyed buddy does not make for a good companion either. I suggest you return to your Beloved Olive Oyl. She is a model of perfect Health and true to her name. She is good for your heart and is the best Oyl to do your cooking. Because she is mono-unsaturated, she is stable and she would cheat you out of your health. Don’t be a chicken anymore Popeye, open a bag of fresh organic spinach and pour it on with Olive Oyl. Sail with her into the sunset of good health and share this message with all.
Moral: Rapesy Oyl may appear attractive, healthy and good, but truly she is nothing but a rotten deer interested only in the Buck. So don’t have any fawn with her, for if you do you may end up an irritable, confused NO-EYE-DEER. Return to beloved Olive Oyl, the best Oyl in her family; she will heal your heart and nourish your body. Keep her as a lifelong companion and friend (but make sure she is organic and cold-pressed).
Don’t let Rapesy oil seduce you with her pretentious good looks, for she will
If what you have read here sounds unbelievable and hard to swallow, I dare you to check out the website www.whale.to/m/canola.html and do a little research on your own. But until you are convinced, I would use your canola oil to treat your deck or wooden fence; it makes a great water sealant.
So I hope you have the last laugh, but if you don’t then read the joke below.
Jokes: Do you know what happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive---Popeye kicked his as_!
What do you call a parrot that uses an umbrella when it rains: polly-unsaturated
Confessions of a Sailor Man
(The Shocking Truth about Canola Oil)
I yams what I yam and therefore I must tell ya’ all. It began many years yonder when I lefts my goil Olive to start cooking fried chicken for me’s living. Woulnst you know that it became a true surcess but me’s health suffered greatly. And my gorsh, I even stopsd eatinf me spinach and ates only fried chicken.
But here’s me confession: it wasn’t just the chicken but the oil in it that mades me and me customers sick. I was told by my new goil Rapesy Oyl (a very very distance relative to Olive Oyl), that this new Canadian oil (Canola) wuz cheap, healthy and tasted jus’ great deep fried on chicken. So I’s took her advice and me restaurant took off like a sail boat in a hurricin’. I was outranked only by the kerna’ Sanders himself. But ten years after the beginning of me success, I started to develop mucula lutea degeneration in me’s eyes, and me’s lungs started develop emphsemia. Not only that but I’s became very unhappy and irricatable. I could no longer sail as the sea ar’ hurt me’s lungs. My friends left me, even me best friend Wimpy. Life for a land bound sailor seemed nots wort’ living. So I’s tied an anchor around me waist, took one last smoke from me trusty pipe then…. I heardst a voik’ cry--- wait-wait! Don’t jump!
It was mes old enemy Brutus who saved me life. He apologized for all ares fights and told me he knew how to fix mes health. Brutus married Olive’s sister, Sesame Oyl and hes bcome quite a feller. Hes goes to church twik’ per week and manys a people looks a up to him. He owns an oiler company hes calls Beautiful Oyls or B.O. for short. Brutus has becomes quite an erducated fellor, but his Engwish sounds kinder strange. This is what hes told me about mes goil Rapesy and mes oil that I used, Canola.
Brutus:
Rapesy was a Canadian Oyl who was instrumental in promoting the new super oil, Canola Oil. But Rapsey and the Big Industry she worked for withheld the shocking truth about Canola Oil (from “Canadian Oil” because it was developed and genetically engineered in Canada). The name Canola is just a glittery masquerade to the evil that lurks inside. Canola oil comes from the rapeseed in the mustard family of plants. It is actually a weed and the most toxic of all food/oil plants; not even insects will touch it. It is used as a lubricant, fuel, soap, synthetic rubber base and glossy coating on magazine pages. IT IS AN INDUSTRIAL OIL THAT HAS NO BUSINESS IN OUR BODIES! But here is the clincher-It is the source of mustard gas used in WWII that ate out the insides of the enemies lungs. It has been known to cause blindness, macula lutea degeneration, emphysema, respiratory distress, anemia, constipation, and irritability (but its dangerous effects can take up to 10 years to manifest). It should truly be called rape-seed oil because it will slowly rape the seed of your health. Whenever you see Canola, replace it with RAPE-seed, because that is its true nature.
Rapeseed contains three classes of toxic compounds: Hemoglutins, isothiocynanates, and glycosides . Briefy the hemoglutins cause red blood cells to stick together which affects the eyes first and foremost, and to people that are susceptible it may even cause blindness. The isothiocyanides are cyanide-like compounds that paralyze the nervous system and make for an excellent insect poison (these compounds go straight to the insects nervous system and shut it down and to a lesser degree do the same in humans). Finally the glycosides in canola suppress the immune system which is the source of our defense. With a weakened immune system, ill health can take on many forms including HIV, lupus, cancer, etc., etc. It should be noted that soy oil also contains these compounds but to a much lesser extent than Canola. So A-SOY-MATE my one-eyed buddy does not make for a good companion either. I suggest you return to your Beloved Olive Oyl. She is a model of perfect Health and true to her name. She is good for your heart and is the best Oyl to do your cooking. Because she is mono-unsaturated, she is stable and she would cheat you out of your health. Don’t be a chicken anymore Popeye, open a bag of fresh organic spinach and pour it on with Olive Oyl. Sail with her into the sunset of good health and share this message with all.
Moral: Rapesy Oyl may appear attractive, healthy and good, but truly she is nothing but a rotten deer interested only in the Buck. So don’t have any fawn with her, for if you do you may end up an irritable, confused NO-EYE-DEER. Return to beloved Olive Oyl, the best Oyl in her family; she will heal your heart and nourish your body. Keep her as a lifelong companion and friend (but make sure she is organic and cold-pressed).
Don’t let Rapesy oil seduce you with her pretentious good looks, for she will
If what you have read here sounds unbelievable and hard to swallow, I dare you to check out the website www.whale.to/m/canola.html and do a little research on your own. But until you are convinced, I would use your canola oil to treat your deck or wooden fence; it makes a great water sealant.
So I hope you have the last laugh, but if you don’t then read the joke below.
Jokes: Do you know what happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive---Popeye kicked his as_!
What do you call a parrot that uses an umbrella when it rains: polly-unsaturated